Solution for Improving Relationships

Posted on | by HeartMath

The Meaning of Our Relationships

Our relationships with family, friends and loved ones are among the greatest joys in life. With them we view our lives as more complete, find greater meaning to our existence and some of us write eloquent tracts of poetry and prose in praise of them. Studies show the emotional support we get from friends and loved ones in our relationships has a positive effect on our cardiovascular, hormonal and immune systems, can lower blood pressure and cholesterol, and ultimately help us live longer.

“Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. “Pooh!” he whispered. “Yes, Piglet?” “Nothing,” said Piglet, taking Pooh’s paw. “I just wanted to be sure of you.”

Winnie-the-Pooh, 1926, A.A. Milne

When we lose, or never experience, loving and lasting relationships we see our lives as lacking and suffer – more than you may know. Research shows that regardless of age, culture or social status, people who lack close, meaningful relationships have a significantly higher risk of mortality, are more prone to disease and have lower survival rates after heart attacks. The effects on our health can be compared to high blood pressure, smoking, obesity and lack of exercise.
Lack of human companionship, chronic loneliness, social isolation and the sudden loss of a loved one are among the leading causes of premature death in America.
—Dr. James Lynch, Noted Psychologist, Author and Researcher on the Effects of Loneliness

Approximately 84% of Americans suffer emotional chaos, with men and women saying their three greatest sources of emotional chaos are their relationships with significant others, their children and people at the workplace.
—2002 Harris Poll

Glen and Jenny

Glen and Jenny were at the end of their rope, still fighting after seven years of marriage about things they’d disagreed on from the first day. Their marriage was surely on the rocks and though they didn’t believe they could save it alone, they wanted to do something. As a last ditch effort, they sought the help of a psychologist, who, instead of relying on traditional intervention methods – having them face and confront each other, etc. – suggested a new approach.

In the first session, Glen and Jenny learned the steps of HeartMath’s Freeze-Frame® technique, including disengaging from their thoughts and feelings when they began to argue, shifting focus to their hearts and ultimately sustaining a change in perception and feeling. Within days the fighting began to dissipate and they could speak without arguing, and after a few weeks “they began re-experiencing moments of the love and appreciation they felt when they first were married.”

Improving Relationships:

A HeartMath Institute e-booklet that explores the relationships of our lives, looks at some of the key mistakes we make that cause them to fail and offers proven tools to help them succeed, including the art of leading with the heart – not going head over heels out of pure emotion, but from an intelligent, self-secure place within the heart, where wisdom, intuition and understanding reside and can teach us, beginning with ourselves, to foster deeper, longer-lasting relationships.
» Learn More

Love and Friendship

That very first moment of recognition, the one when we know that fondness has turned to love, that we’ve made a genuine friend for life or that we suddenly understand the meaning of “family is forever,” is an occasion for celebration, one that can make us laugh or bring us to tears, sustain us through life’s trials and, at the end of the day, leave us content in the knowledge that we have a great fortune locked away somewhere deep in our hearts.

Lasting relationships, those honest, open and respectful are something HeartMath calls “authentic communication.” In fact, these are all elements of the mortar that holds together the foundations of our loves and friendships.

“Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow.”

Swedish Proverb

A HeartMath TIP:

HeartMath has found that a simple way to enhance relationships with partners, friends and family is to always observe the following three courtesies when speaking with another person.

  • Words: Listen closely to the words being spoken to you.
  • Feelings: Try to determine what feelings are behind these words.
  • Essence: Appreciate the listener and try to understand the real meaning of the words.

Benefits of Strong, Meaningful Relationships

  • Less susceptibility to disease, increased survival rate from heart attack
  • Longer, healthier life
  • Wake up with more positive outlook, hopefulness
  • Increased vitality, zest
  • Life has greater meaning, purpose, richness
  • Feel more connected to people

Tools For Improving Relationships

Researchers and scientists at the HeartMath Institute have devoted many years to studying the human heart and the results of their work are profound: We now know that within the heart there resides great wisdom, intuition and intelligence. HeartMath has developed simple, straightforward and effective tools and techniques to teach you to harness the heart’s capacity to intelligently guide you in overcoming the stresses, disappointments and turmoil that confront us as we go through life.

Stress Test

Posted on | by HeartMath

We’ve come to take stress for granted. It’s an inevitable part of life so we complain, adapt and accept more and more stress as the way it is. We’re turning into stress athletes using today’s stress as basic training for even more tomorrow. No pain, no gain. Until everyday stresses accumulate to a level that hurts our health, damages our relationships, compromises our performance and reduces our overall sense of well-being. Ouch!

When did we forget that stress is the body’s way of telling us something is out of kilter? Take this short ‘stress test’ if you’re still not sure it’s time to stop all the talking and do something about it.

Low stress levels

  • I feel well
  • I am able to relax
  • Physical recreation brings me pleasure
  • Increasing pressure enhances my performance
  • My thinking is clear and I learn easily
  • I am able to say “No”
  • Others see me as adaptable & approachable
  • Others see me as energized and successful

Moderate stress levels

  • I feel driven, hyperactive, and restless
  • I tend to make snap decisions but with errors
  • I feel over-burdened but can still say “No”
  • I often feel tired but am taking steps to recover
  • I often try to squeeze a few extra drops out of my performance
  • Discipline, fitness, social pressure & stimulants play a greater role in my ability to perform
  • My sleep is just about adequate
  • Others see me as tired yet successful

High stress levels

  • I often lose perspective
  • I feel irritable & on edge
  • I complain and grumble regularly
  • I work longer hours but get less done
  • My home/work balance is suffering
  • I have repeated minor ailments, aches and pains
  • I don’t think as clearly as I used to
  • I have sleep problems
  • I feel like I’m operating in survival mode

Now don’t get stressed out about stress! Remember, stress is not the event (the traffic, the deadlines, the stock market, etc.), but your negative reaction to it –how you feel– that does the damage. And your reaction is something you can change. Next time you’re annoyed or irritated or angry don’t just talk about it, do something: Focus on the area around your heart, take a deep breath and recall a positive time in your life. Shifting to a positive emotion is fast and an easy way to change your forecast!

Take care,
Kim Allen

Tips for Better Sleep

Posted on | by HeartMath

#1 The number one tip for better sleep:

Put stress in check. One of the first symptoms of stress overload is disrupted sleep. Stressful feelings throw our inner rhythms out of sync and have a negative carryover effect on hormonal and nervous systems – making it difficult to sleep. You can try other sleep tips, but if managing stress isn’t a priority, other strategies have less chance of helping you get the quality sleep you need.

Create emotional ease on demand. Techniques designed to release emotional stress during the day can have a positive carryover affect that benefits sleep. With practice you can create an inner ease as you need it.

Try this simple technique. Quick Coherence® can help reset your inner rhythms. Three easy steps can improve your skill at releasing stress as you move through your day. Also, try it before bedtime to bring your mind and body into balance. Try it out here.

Measure your inner rhythms. There are devices that can help individuals reset their inner rhythms and provide immediate feedback that use lights and audio cues to help you unwind and rebalance. Some devices also offer simple practices such as the Quick Coherence technique. The combination guides you into a balanced state for a restful night.

#2 Eat right and get regular exercise:

Light exercise in the evening can help release tension without over stimulating the body. Try simple yoga postures or gentle stretching exercises to help you unwind. As little as ten minutes can be beneficial and help promote sleep.

Save the caffeine for morning. Believe it or not, caffeine can cause sleep problems up to ten hours after drinking it. Consider eliminating caffeine after lunch.

Avoid large meals at night. Try having your dinner earlier in the evening and avoid heavy, rich foods within two to three hours of bed as they use a lot of energy to digest.

Try an herbal nightcap. Instead of alcohol before bed try some chamomile tea, which has relaxing and soothing properties. Alcohol can reduce sleep quality and possibly even contribute to waking you up later in the night.

#3 Regulate your sleep schedule:

Keep a regular sleep schedule. This is an important strategy for good sleep hygiene. Try to go to bed and get up at the same time each day. Try to maintain your usual sleep time and wake–time even on weekends so you build consistency into your routine.

Recharge with a nap. Limit naps to 20-30 minutes and try and get them in in the earlier part of the afternoon so you don’t throw off your sleep routine.

#4 Create a relaxing night time routine:

Carve out some wind down time. At an hour or two before bed stop stimulating activities such as being on the computer or watching TV. Instead, opt for quieter things such as reading, knitting, taking a bath or listening to soothing music.

Soothing sounds help prepare you for quiet. If you live in a noisy area with sirens, barking dogs, city traffic, etc., camouflage the noise with a fan or perhaps a CD of nature sounds. You might also try a sound machine with white noise. Good-old-fashion earplugs can also be helpful.

Check your thermostat. The ideal sleeping temperature for your bedroom should be around 65° F. A room that is too warm or too cold can affect your quality of sleep. Also make sure you have good air flow and ventilation. A fan on low can keep the air gently moving, which prevents the room from getting stuffy.

What I’ve learned from my life changing accident

Posted on | by HeartMath

Six years ago I was a busy professional working to build a growing business in the midwest.  I enjoyed working with my clients and had a great family and social life.  However, I was not dealing with everyday stress and at times was not sleeping well.  During an episode of driving tired I fell asleep at the wheel, cartwheeling my car several times.  Fortunately, I was driving alone and did not hit or injure anyone else.  The accident resulted in a closed head or diffused axonal injury followed by several years of rehabilitation.

While my brain was healing and rewiring itself I experienced a high level of anxiety which was treated with several medications ranging from tranquilizers to anti-depressants and for a short period an anti-psychotic.  I had worked hard to regain what I had lost in memory and some functional areas.  The anxiety, however, was creating a barrier to which I could not break.  I would spend days in bed and weeks not leaving my home.  Naturally a gregarious person, I was very sad and was losing hope that I would get better.  Having exhausted my savings on standard protocol treatment and rehabilitation I was at a loss where to turn next.

A family member suggested that I call the Veterans Administration to see if I could meet with their doctors.  I was introduced to a world-class team of medical professionals including top notch occupational therapist who recommended using the HeartMath Quick Coherence®  breathing techniques and the emWave® system to help with my anxiety.  We began with breathing exercises and meditation then advanced to the emWave.  I was also reading and reflecting on the Transforming Stress book by Doc Childre and Deborah Rozman.  Although having a clear understanding of the origin of my condition I was gaining tools to deflect and cope with the resulting effects.  Within days I was feeling better and within weeks I was able to sleep a full night and wake refreshed, something that I had not experienced in many years.  During one of our sessions I was able to complete a task I had been struggling with for 5 years.  Slowing I began to take back my life and eventually titrated myself off all medications and have since not needed to take anything beyond a vitamin.

Each morning I wake to use the emWave program for 15 minutes.  I find it important to focus only on the session and at times use the visualization tool to guide me toward a healthy variability in heartbeats, coherence and peace of mind.  I also use the emWave PSR before I sleep and at times during the day especially when I feel a wave of stress or anxiety.  Since my affect in working with others was off for some time I was quite self-conscious about speaking both socially and professionally.  To help overcome my fear and gain confidence I use both breathing through my heart and the Freeze-Frame®  technique to slow down my thought process and now speak with clarity and confidence.

I am truly blessed having such caring and gifted people help me through what has previously appeared impossible.  Thank you HeartMath for being part of my team. – Anonymous

What I’ve learned from my life changing accident

Posted on | by HeartMath

Six years ago I was a busy professional working to build a growing business in the midwest.  I enjoyed working with my clients and had a great family and social life.  However, I was not dealing with everyday stress and at times was not sleeping well.  During an episode of driving tired I fell asleep at the wheel, cartwheeling my car several times.  Fortunately, I was driving alone and did not hit or injure anyone else.  The accident resulted in a closed head or diffused axonal injury followed by several years of rehabilitation.

While my brain was healing and rewiring itself I experienced a high level of anxiety which was treated with several medications ranging from tranquilizers to anti-depressants and for a short period an anti-psychotic.  I had worked hard to regain what I had lost in memory and some functional areas.  The anxiety, however, was creating a barrier to which I could not break.  I would spend days in bed and weeks not leaving my home.  Naturally a gregarious person, I was very sad and was losing hope that I would get better.  Having exhausted my savings on standard protocol treatment and rehabilitation I was at a loss where to turn next.

A family member suggested that I call the Veterans Administration to see if I could meet with their doctors.  I was introduced to a world-class team of medical professionals including top notch occupational therapist who recommended using the HeartMath Quick Coherence®  breathing techniques and the emWave® system to help with my anxiety.  We began with breathing exercises and meditation then advanced to the emWave.  I was also reading and reflecting on the Transforming Stress book by Doc Childre and Deborah Rozman.  Although having a clear understanding of the origin of my condition I was gaining tools to deflect and cope with the resulting effects.  Within days I was feeling better and within weeks I was able to sleep a full night and wake refreshed, something that I had not experienced in many years.  During one of our sessions I was able to complete a task I had been struggling with for 5 years.  Slowing I began to take back my life and eventually titrated myself off all medications and have since not needed to take anything beyond a vitamin.

Each morning I wake to use the emWave program for 15 minutes.  I find it important to focus only on the session and at times use the visualization tool to guide me toward a healthy variability in heartbeats, coherence and peace of mind.  I also use the emWave PSR before I sleep and at times during the day especially when I feel a wave of stress or anxiety.  Since my affect in working with others was off for some time I was quite self-conscious about speaking both socially and professionally.  To help overcome my fear and gain confidence I use both breathing through my heart and the Freeze-Frame®  technique to slow down my thought process and now speak with clarity and confidence.

I am truly blessed having such caring and gifted people help me through what has previously appeared impossible.  Thank you HeartMath for being part of my team. – Anonymous

Teen Focus

Posted on | by HeartMath

Written by Ronna P. – 1 on 1 Provider

As a Licensed 1:1 HeartMath Provider, I get to experience the benefits of the HeartMath technologies in many ways. First for myself and then with the results reported to me by my clients. Recently, I was able to see the benefit of the emWave2® for my 15 year old daughter! My daughter, a normal teenage girl, tends to disregard a bit of what “dear old mom” suggests to her. She knew that I was “into” HeartmMath and had been using the emWave2 consistently for myself. She knew I was sleeping better and had more patience with her lately. But still, being a bit of a skeptic, she was reluctant to try the technology herself.

One evening, just before her semester finals, my daughter was very stressed out because she had so much studying to do. She also had a major visual report to create in her Advanced Placement European History class – a poster board depiction of a major time line in history. She told me that she’d never get all of her work done that night. She had papers spread out all over the floor, poster board, markers, and photos she’d cut out to illustrate her project. It was a complete mess! “I just can’t do it mom!”, was her complaint.

I suggested that she spend a few minutes on the emWave2 just to get more focused for her project. She rolled her eyes but agreed to try it. After about 5 minutes on the emWave2, she nodded off in a light sleep for a few minutes. She opened her eyes again and spent a few more minutes watching the emWave2 computer screen. She disconnected from the computer, skeptical, as usual. “I still have to do the work”, she grumbled.

I went about my business and finished making dinner. About 30 minutes later, I looked over to where she had resumed work on her poster project. To my surprise, she was just putting the final touches on a very complicated visual story board of European history!

I asked her how she got the project done so quickly. Her response was genuine: “I was just able to focus on it and everything fell into place. That emWave really works, mom!” I knew enough not to gloat or say “I told you so!”, but just remarked, “hey, maybe you will want to start using the emWave2 regularly to see if it reduces your overall studying time.”

Starting the new semester, she’s done just that. She gets on the emWave2 for about 5 minutes before studying and she tells me that she feels that it’s cut down her overall study time, by helping her stay focused and on task. This leaves her more time to do the fun things a teenager likes to do, like talking with friends, and watching TV and just hanging out. For both of us, that’s a success story!

Police officers fight more than crime

Posted on | by HeartMath

Each day, law enforcement officers risk their lives and cope with the trauma of having co-workers killed or injured in the line of duty. As a result, police are in a constant battle with workplace stress.

International News Magazine recently published an article by John Theobald, a police officer who went on to get his graduate degree and help others in his field deal with the stressors of being in the law enforcement field.

“At that time it was becoming increasingly clear that the stress factor in police work was manifesting in high rates of divorce, alcohol abuse, suicides and other acting-out behaviors. Having experienced it firsthand, I was determined to seek some method that could help ameliorate this situation,” Theobald said.

The former officer helped officers in 10 metropolitan areas learn how to relieve their stress through holistic, non-medicinal means.

According to HeavyBadge.com, officers also deal with workplace stress as a result of demanding shifts and a negative public perception.

This suggests that employee wellness programs aimed at stress management may be needed in many police departments in order to help officers cope with their anxiety.

Proactive measures may be best way to tackle workplace stress

Posted on | by HeartMath

In an article on Forbes.com, contributing writer and career expert Lisa Quast stated that workplace stress is more prevalent now than ever, and poses a significant threat to productivity and public health.

She said that employers should recognize aspects of an office that may be contributing to tension in the workplace and be proactive in correcting them.

Primary ways to get to the root of stress include ensuring that workloads are manageable, deadlines are fair and that the flow of work and duties makes sense, Quast said.

Additionally, management training should be focused on staving off anxiety among staff members.

“This includes training on causes and consequences of stress, how to recognize warning signs of excessive stress, what managers can do to help alleviate job related stress, and how leadership style can affect employee levels of stress,” Quast wrote.

According to the National Institute of Occupational Safety and Health, an estimated 40 percent of workers report that their jobs are very stressful, and about one quarter named their career as the biggest source of stress in their lives.

This suggests that many workplaces may be in need of employee wellness programs, which have been shown to be effective in reducing anxiety in a healthy, proactive way.

Mental health disability appears to be on the rise

Posted on | by HeartMath

One of the most significant side effects of chronic workplace stress is the mental anguish it can cause some employees, sometimes even leading to clinical depression and disability leaves.

Researchers at Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health have found that the number of people reporting mental health disability climbed by nearly one third during the past few years, compared to rates that were recorded in the late 1990s.

Authors of the study stated that roughly 2.7 percent of non-elderly volunteers said they had taken disability for mental health issues in 2007 through 2009, compared to 2 percent in 1997 through 1999.

“These findings highlight the need for improved access to mental health services in our communities and for better integration of these services with primary care delivery,” said lead author Ramin Mojtabai, M.D., Ph.D.

Results of this study suggest that workers may be in need of employee health benefits that include care for mental conditions. Additionally, employee wellness programs that provide tools and resources for stress management have been shown to decrease healthcare expenditures, as well as improve mental and physical well-being among staff members.

Researchers quantify healthcare savings of weight loss

Posted on | by HeartMath

Excess body fat is linked to a host of chronic illnesses, such as hypertension, diabetes and heart disease. These conditions require ongoing treatment, and therefore present a major challenge in reducing healthcare costs, especially in light of rising obesity rates.

As a result, researchers at biopharmaceutical company VIVUS conducted a study to determine how much could be saved in Medicare costs if patients on the plan dropped their body weight by 10 percent.

They found that the decrease in body fat could potentially result in $8 billion in savings over a decade, and $35 billion over the patients’ lifetimes.

“Obesity is a national epidemic with few useful treatment options. I am hopeful that new therapies will continue to be developed at a time when members of Congress are looking for Medicare spend reductions with aging baby boomers,” said Kenneth E. Thorpe, Ph.D., professor and chair of health policy and management at the Emory Rollins School of Public Health.

These findings suggest that employee wellness programs that encourage healthy living may result in fewer obese staff members, which may save companies significant money on employee health benefits.