How to Not Flip Out When Tensions Run High

Posted on | by HeartMath

Ticked off, impatient, short fused and irritated as heck. Lately it seems that tension is running higher than usual for a lot of people.

More than ever patience levels are being challenged for even the most composed individuals. From weather related events, to an unexpected health crisis, to job insecurity and financial turmoil, to shocking political antics and civil unrest, the list goes on. There is just no shortage of issues or circumstances that can and will test our emotional poise.

In our fast-paced world, life is often moving faster than our emotions can keep up with and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by emotions like frustration or anger. Our unsorted or unresolved feelings can start to stack and we end up having a blowout.

Emotions such as anger, fear and worry can and often do lead to unhealthy stress levels, knowing what to do to manage, or self-regulate our emotions can help to minimize the amount of stress we experience.

While we may experience some stress due to rush hour traffic or something we see on the evening news that makes us angry, that’s not necessarily unhealthy. The real health compromising effect of stress is when we dwell on that anger for an hour or two, or longer. That’s when stress begins to adversely affect our health.

Tools to help us connect with our heart and that help us slow down our inner speed can go a long way to prevent a stress build up and blow out.

To defuse frustration or anger, it’s important to become emotionally aware and acknowledge what we’re feeling. Taking a pause to identify what triggered our anger can actually help to slow down the emotional energy drain.

Once we identify the trigger we can ask our self what emotional belief is under that feeling of anger – e.g. Am I feeling disrespected? Am I feeling unfairly judged? Am I feeling uncared for? By asking our self these questions, we often can uncover a deeper belief underneath.

Runaway anger uses a lot of emotional energy. We can reduce the intensity of an anger reaction by simply breathing a little slower while focusing on our heart. Doing this smooths out the heart’s rhythm and sends a signal to the brain to ease up on the reaction, allowing us to regain some emotional poise. Learning to reset our emotional balance just takes some meaningful practice.

When feeling frustrated or like you’re gonna “flip” out, remembering to stop and take a moment to do an emotional reset can help prevent a lot of energy drain.

Try this tool as a way of resetting and do it for one minute or longer until there is a feeling that something is lightening up. Even if we don’t get to a complete release, a little ease can bring some relief. As more ease starts to filter in, quite often so will a more balanced perspective that can help to defuse emotional reactivity.

Use these simple steps for the HeartMath® tool called Notice and Ease™

Notice and Ease

Step 1: Notice and admit what you’re feeling.
Step 2: Try and name the feeling.
Step 3: Tell yourself to e-a-s-e as you gently focus your attention in the area of the heart, relax as you breathe, and e-a-s-e the stress out.

The HeartMath Notice and Ease tool helps us shift our energy to inner self-awareness and connect with our heart’s rhythmic power to de-escalate the reaction and get back to a place of balance where we can think more clearly and find a more balanced perspective.

For more tips about how to defuse anger, get the book Transforming Anger: The HeartMath Solution for Letting Go of Rage, Frustration, and Irritation (New Harbinger Publications) by Doc Childre and Deborah Rozman, Ph.D.

How to Disrupt Worry

Posted on | by HeartMath

Worry tries to convince the mind that it has some value, but in reality it has never solved anything.

To disrupt the worry habit you need to not only interrupt it, you need to replace it with something productive to establish a pattern change. Practice shifting your attention away from worry by using the Inner-Ease™ Technique.

Using a heart-focused practice like this is a kind and effective approach to escape the grip of worry. It also helps us align with our heart‘s intelligence so we can gain intuitive insight and answers about the issues concerning us. Try this simple technique to get started:

Disrupt Worry with Inner-Ease

An excellent tool to interrupt worry is HeartMath’s Inner-Ease Technique. Try these steps the next time you feel worry gaining ground.

#1: Heart-Focused Breathing

Focus your attention in the area of the heart. Imagine your breath is flowing in and out of your heart or chest area, breathing a little slower and deeper than usual.

Suggestion: Inhale 5 seconds, exhale 5 seconds (or whatever rhythm is comfortable).

#2: Draw in the feeling of inner ease

With each breath, draw in the feeling of inner ease to balance your mental and emotional energy.

#3: Anchor and maintain the feeling

Set a meaningful intent to anchor the feeling of inner ease as you engage in your projects, challenges or daily interactions.

Quick Steps:

  1. Heart-Focused Breathing
  2. Draw in the feeling of inner ease
  3. Anchor and maintain the feeling

 In the new book Heart Intelligence, you’ll gain even more understanding about how to care without worry and additional tools to help interrupt the emotional habits that suppress our happiness.

Get The Heart Intelligence Book Now >

Sleep Interrupted? 3 Tips to Reset Your Body’s Rhythm

Posted on | by HeartMath

It’s time to try a system reset so you can return to a healthy sleep rhythm. But first some abbreviated science.

Our heart beats in a rhythm. Research at the HeartMath Institute found that when we are over-stimulated, overwhelmed, stressed or worried this rhythm becomes irregular and incoherent.

Conversely, positive feelings, like love, care or appreciation can smooth out our heart rhythm into a harmonious coherent pattern and help prepare the body for sleep.

Reset with these three practical solutions:

Good Sleep

Sleep practices need to include what happens during the day not just once the sun goes down. Doing a few 1-2 minute Quick Coherence® Technique sessions during the day can minimize the build-up of stress. Accumulated stress is a common cause of disrupted sleep patterns.

Once in Bed

Close your eyes and tell yourself you aren’t going to over-dramatize anything that happened during the day or any concerns you may have about sleeping. Use the heart-focused technique we call Attitude Breathing™.

These steps can help you create a coherent heart rhythm that can facilitate deeper and more effective sleep:

  1. Recognize a feeling or attitude that you want to change and identify a replacement attitude.
  2. Focus your attention in the area of the heart. Imagine your breath is flowing in and out of your heart or chest area, breathing a little slower and deeper than usual.
    Suggestion: Inhale 5 seconds, exhale 5 seconds (or whatever rhythm is comfortable)
  3. Breathe the feeling of the new attitude slowly and casually through your heart area.

Practice the this exercise for a few minutes. Coherent heart rhythms help release beneficial hormones that reduce stress and restore your system.

Technology Can Help

Take out the mental figuring and use HeartMath’s emWave2® or Inner Balance™ technologies. Use these tech assistants combined with the above techniques to simplify the process as they guide you into a peaceful rhythm of heart coherence.

Just Sayin’… Stress Can Twist Our Words

Posted on | by HeartMath

Ashley walks in the door, “Hey babe, I didn’t hear from you so I went ahead and picked up some take-out in case you don’t want to cook tonight.” Jason snaps back, “What do you mean I don’t want to cook? Don’t I cook every night? You have no idea how many things I have going on. Perplexed, she replies, “I am trying to be helpful because you have been so busy.”

It’s likely that most of us have had the experience of being stressed and having our emotions spill out onto innocent bystanders – leaving us feeling awful later.

If we were to filter out the day’s accumulated stress, what Mark likely would have said is, “Sorry I didn’t get back with you, things got really hectic today, so this is perfect, thank you.” Being more connected in the heart he would have registered the caring gesture.

When stress has a chance to accumulate it can hang over us like a thick fog preventing us from thinking, perceiving and speaking from our authentic self. Without meaning to, the stored stress clouds our perceptions and twists words and actions into misunderstandings.

The science of being stressed-off goes something like this. Stress leads to chaos in the heart’s rhythms, which affects our body in a number of ways, including our brains ability to think clearly, make good decisions and communicate well.

When we’re overwhelmed what we say often reflects the stress build-up we’re feeling. It can carry over from earlier situations compromising our ability to genuinely connect with others. As a result our interactions become more mechanical and run low on care.

This explanation is attributed to the amazing research being conducted by our sister organization, the HeartMath Institute. The best part of this clinical look at stress is how positive emotions can reverse the unwanted effects of stress.

Emotions like care and appreciation create “coherence” in the heart’s rhythms, which is reflected by its ordered pattern. As the brain synchs to this rhythm, emotional stress is released. Coherence adds clarity to our mental performance and our communications. Even our intuitive sensitivities are keener – meaning we’re more likely to know when it’s time to pause to reset our coherence, and we’re less likely to utter regretful comments to others.

Another worthy note from the Institute’s work is how we can re-pattern trigger responses to stress with calmer, more poised responses as we practice building heart-coherence.

Experiment with these simple ideas. They take no more than a few moments to do and can help reduce the stress build-up:

  1. Schedule three heart-coherence breaks a day, making them 2 to 4 minute each. Use one break in the morning before the day starts. The next can be around mid-day. Use the third break towards end of the day to clear any lingering stress. (Be kind and gentle with yourself and avoid being self-critical.)
  2. Practice this 2-step Quick Coherence® Technique provided below. Use this for the coherence breaks. It helps release overwhelm and stress and builds a resilience reservoir to increase emotional flexibility.
  3. If overwhelm starts to creep in, refer back to the steps of the Quick Coherence Technique and reset. Remember to take the day in small segments. Focusing on one thing at a time rather than letting the mind run away with worry about all there is to do.
  4. Increase self-confidence as you build these skills by employing the Inner Balance™ or emWave2® technologies. They both help provide a solid sense of what coherence feels like. Satisfying both the mind and the heart, these tech tools allow us to see and feel our coherence progress.

Steps for Quick Coherence® Technique:

Step 1: Focus your attention in the area of the heart. Imagine your breath is flowing in and out of your heart or chest area, breathing a little slower and deeper than usual. Suggestion: Inhale 5 seconds, exhale 5 seconds (or whatever rhythm is comfortable)

Step 2: Make a sincere attempt to experience a regenerative feeling such as appreciation or care for someone or something in your life. Suggestion: Try to re-experience the feeling you have for someone you love, a pet, a special place, an accomplishment, etc. or focus on a feeling of calm or ease.

Can We Stop With the Self-Sabotage Already?

Posted on | by HeartMath

Self-sabotage. It sounds dramatic but let’s be honest, it’s pretty common. Most of us at one time or another have engaged in it. We set a goal or intention, we’re clear on what we want and then we sabotage ourselves by allowing doubts, negative thoughts and emotions to have far too much air-time in our head broadcasting insecurities and self-limiting beliefs.

Self-sabotage is generally an unconscious behavior and often driven by our insecurities and fears. It can be a tactic to protect us from being hurt or failing, or to avoid disappointment or feeling out of control.

Yet these undermining habits and self-critical attitudes prevent us from being happy and creating the life we want.

For example, let’s say you’re a habitual worrier. If you think about it, that is like saying, “If I worry about all the things that could go wrong, all of the time, then I won’t be caught off guard if they ever do.” It’s doubtful that this energy-consuming process has ever produced beneficial outcomes for any of us – yet we do it anyway.

Reversing self-sabotaging habits, like worrying or assuming the worst is really worth our care and attention. It promises to free up a lot of personal energy. It just requires a little self-reflection, staying aware of limiting attitudes and inner-conversations…and a little self-patience.

Some common ways we sabotage ourselves:

– Worrying constantly – Assuming we’re powerless – Ignoring personal needs for balance – Being over critical of our self and others – Mentally playing out worst-case scenarios – Having an attitude of being victimized by life – Negatively projecting what people think about us – Comparing and measuring our own success with others – Allowing undermining self-beliefs and attitudes to run on and on

There is so much right with us if we just stop and look at ourselves from a heart-centered belief. For example, we all have an inherent power that should be celebrated and used more often. This power is our heart intelligence, our heart truth – and it can help us reverse exhausting behaviors.

Using our heart intelligence we can compassionately re-tune our awareness towards how we use our personal energy. We can ask our self what thoughts, inner-talk and attitudes could I let go of and which ones help me?

Through heart-focused practices we can pinpoint effective counter responses to tired habits. We can identify new and supportive ways to interrupt the pattern of self-sabotage.

As we build personal coherence we increase our inner balance and alignment between the heart, mind and emotions. When we’re more anchored in our heart-center we‘re less likely to cave in to old insecurities, projected fears, worries, self-judgments and doubts.

Try playing with this simple exercise to reveal attitudes and thoughts you want to change:

  • Start with a 60-minute time period and tune your inner awareness towards old views so you can begin to catch them. Increase the duration or how often you do this, if you want.
  • During the designated time period, watch for inner-dialogue that inhibits you, for instance: “I hate going to parties, I never have anything interesting to say.” Or “I should just keep my ideas to myself, they’re probably stupid anyway.”
  • Watch for old habits that reinforce insecurities, such as over apologizing when things are already fine.
  • Once you identify something you want to change, center in the heart and ask yourself what would a positive replacement for this old belief or old habit?
  • For example, if your limiting belief is, “I should just keep my ideas to myself, they’re probably stupid anyway.” Stop the thought and instead say, “Great ideas can come from anywhere and anyone. Goodbye old thought!”

It’s important to not just notice the old attitudes, thoughts and habits but to also replace them. Doing this helps us to create a new pattern – one that supports us in a healthier, heart-centered way.

In the book Heart Intelligence, many strategies for tapping into our heart’s power are explained. These practices help us establish a clearer, high-definition view of who we really are and how to remove the obstacles that limit our self-beliefs.

New Book! Transforming Stress for Teens

Posted on | by HeartMath

A teen’s world can sometimes feel like a tsunami of emotions. Everything can seem intensified and for good reason.

Many factors play into their emotional swings from hormonal changes, to establishing independence, to pressure to perform in school or feeling overwhelmed from a heavy homework load – and let’s not forget the pains of social dramas that play out with texting and online.

Written for teens, the Transforming Stress for Teens book helps young readers understand how emotions and stress work. The book provides simple techniques to help them take charge of reactive emotions such as anger, frustration and impatience.

Transforming Stress for Teens helps young people build confidence as they learn and practice simple techniques for managing today’s unique pressures. Transforming Stress for Teens is an interactive guide with step by step strategies that can help teens minimize stress, exercise their inner strength and wisdom and become who they truly are.

Know the Signs of Teen Stress:

  • Emotional outbursts of anger, frustration and/or irritability
  • Increased levels of anxiety and overwhelm
  • Disconnected and or social withdrawal
  • Overeating or undereating
  • Frequent headaches
  • Poor quality sleep
  • Lack of motivation
  • Difficulty concentrating and focusing
Click Here to Get the Book:
Transforming Stress for Teens!

3 Minutes of This Recharges Your Mind & Body

Posted on | by HeartMath

More and more acts of kindness between people are being celebrated. With social media as part of our modern culture these stories are being captured and shared daily. Their viral appeal has a contagious effect that nurtures the positive qualities of humanity.

In addition to these celebrated acts of kindness there are also many other ways we add kindness to the world. They’re unlikely to be captured and shared on social media but they count just as much.

Unseen acts of kindness are an extension of our core heart qualities such as patience, compassion, care, appreciation, respect, tolerance, acceptance and love. Each time we choose to act on a core heart quality we’re adding kindness to our world – and we’re creating positive change in the world.

We are all interconnected in an energetic field environment and unseen acts of kindness ripple outward in the form of energetic contributions to our surroundings. Our thoughts, attitudes and emotions radiate outside ourselves affecting others whether we are conscious of it or not.

Here’s an example, think of a time when you walked into a room and nothing was said yet you could feel the tension in the room. What we’re feeling is the energetic environment in the room.

Conversely, you might enter a room and feel an uplift when the people in the room are collectively excited about something positive that just happened and we can feel it before anyone utters a word.

The HeartMath Institute has studied this energetic field environment and the electromagnetic energy we as individuals emit. They found when people touch or are in close proximity there is an actual transfer of energy. The heart’s electromagnetic field (the most powerful rhythmic energy field produced by the body) can be detected by other individuals and can produce measurable effects in a person a few feet away.

We’re always creating an effective or ineffective field environment with whatever thoughts, feelings and attitudes we are experiencing or putting out. Knowing this allows us to consciously choose to make contributions of kindness wherever and whenever we want.

So the next time our work colleague is being cranky, we can set an intention to trade our impatience for a compassionate attitude – knowing that is unseen kindness.

If our significant other does that annoying thing again, take a pause, breathe the attitude of care through the heart or chest area and choose to not deliver an irritated response, instead find a kinder, gentler way to respond.

If we get home and discover that we’re missing items from our grocery bag we might naturally feel frustrated, but then we can choose to focus in the heart and reset – it’s better for our health and for the field environment. Then tune into how to recoup the items with all the patience and kindness we would want to receive should the roles be reversed.

Unseen kindness is equally as important with how we treat our self. Our inner attitudes and self-talk also contribute to the energetic field environment. So let’s remember to be kind and gentle with our self as much as with others because it all counts and adds to creating a kinder world.

To learn more about the energetic field environment refer to the new book, Heart Intelligence: Connecting with the Intuitive Guidance of the Heart.

The Struggle Is Real!

Posted on | by HeartMath

These five suggestions will help you use the summer wisely so you can re-balance and recharge!

1

Taking a vacation? Make a “family & friends unplugged” agreement.

Each person promises to only do one or two brief check-ins for urgent work issues that cannot wait. Commit to honesty and be selective about when you really must engage in your routine stuff versus truly unplugging.

2

Be conscious of letting the small stuff go.

Resist spending time worrying about uncontrollable things; be in the moment so you can enjoy more of your time off.

3

Give yourself permission to go with the flow.

Many times the most fun experiences we have come from being completely spontaneous. Try letting go of lists and plans.

4

Remember to include quieter activities to help you reset your balance.

Leisurely walks in the morning or evenings, sitting and listening to the sounds of nature, taking afternoon naps or catching a sunset can all be soothing ways to recharge the body, mind and spirit.

5

Practice managing stress when you’re not stressed.

After all, practicing when things are quieter builds resilience so it is easier to practice when there’s an actual challenge. Add the Inner Balance™ technology to your tablet or phone or pack your emWave2® device. Use some of your down time to practice centering yourself. Both technologies teach you a specialized 2-step technique and provide real-time feedback so you can retrain your mind body reaction to stress. Learning this while you’re less distracted will help you establish a new response that you can carry with you for when things get more hectic.

3 Tips to boost heart coherence

Posted on | by HeartMath

In one HeartMath® research study published in the Journal of Advancement in Medicine it was observed that just five minutes of genuinely feeling a positive emotion such as appreciation can provide a beneficial boost to the immune system.

Positive emotions like appreciation increase heart-rhythm coherence. Use these simple tips to help you boost your daily appreciation awareness.

#1 Summon the power of positive feelings.

Find a few photos that evoke feelings of appreciation. Place the photos in locations where you will see them during the day – in the car, on your desk, the bathroom mirror or your refrigerator.

When you see the photos pause for a moment and connect with the feeling of appreciation.

#2 Use blessing reminders.

While you’re building the habit of appreciating more often, try placing a sticky note in key locations or set an alarm on your cell phone. Reminding yourself to pause for a moment can help reconnect you with your heart intention.

During this short break, find something that you appreciate that took place that day, it can even be appreciating yourself for your commitment. This practice starts to increase your awareness of what’s happening in your life that is good.

#3 Keep a gratitude journal.

Set aside a few minutes at the end of each day to write down a few things you are grateful for. It can be as simple as appreciating the person who held the door open for you.

The practice helps you see life more through the perspective of gratitude. Once you write your list, allow a couple minutes to focus on the genuine feeling of appreciation for the things on your list. Be consistent with the practice to get the most out of it.