Deborah Rozman and Howard Martin present a live Heart Focus Event and Meditation this season.
Experience tapping into the heart’s wisdom for greater ease, intuitive guidance, calm, and flow. We share key practices for opening and expanding our hearts’ wisdom, as well as the daily life benefits of doing so for ourselves and others — followed by a 15-minute guided heart coherence experience with Heart Math’s CEO, Deborah Rozman.
One of the most effective ways to help ourselves and help humanity at the same time is to deepen our heart connections with each other. Neuroscience has found that our brains are wired for positive connections with others. When we’re in heart-based interactions, our brains release feel-good chemicals that have beneficial effects on our entire system.
Social/emotional wellness involves fostering positive connections with family, friends, co-workers, and even people we meet in daily life — at the store checkout counter, the bank, the delivery person, etc. Studies show that people who have strong heart connections and harmonious friendships tend to have a greater sense of security, increased feelings of joy, and more satisfaction with life in general.
People often have only surface-level connections with family or friends, along with some care, but miss a deeper understanding of the other person. This can lead to a sense of isolation and the epidemic of loneliness we are seeing throughout the developed world. Cultivating stronger heart connections starts by extending warm-hearted feelings. As we communicate with compassionate care and kindness, this energetically warms the heart connection in our interactions, which results in more harmony and better outcomes. When we connect with warmth and intentional care, we listen and hear more deeply. This increases our intuitive sensitivity to another person’s feelings and essence, which helps with deeper understanding.
The more care and compassion we have for each other, the more it increases the heart energy or love flowing through our system. This can be effective for restoring our own mental and emotional balance and reducing personal stress. For humanity to dissipate walls of separation between people of different backgrounds, beliefs, and values, we need to connect from the heart to establish rapport and truly understand each other. This requires humility and a heart’s desire to understand. We don’t have to agree with another person’s views. We can share our truth from our heart about what we feel — but holding to a mind stance only perpetuates feelings of separation and disconnection. Connecting from the heart supports the dignity, respect, and deep listening needed for effective communication between people with different beliefs.
Scientific research is showing that, whether we like it or not, we are all energetically interconnected. Acknowledging this interconnectivity is essential for healing separation and finding solutions to our personal and societal problems. Each person’s thoughts, attitudes, and emotions emit energies through their heart’s electromagnetic field that impact their brain and body and impact others as well. Researchers have observed how a heart-connected conversation can synchronize brain patterns. The people in a group who listened and worked to seek consensus were the ones whose brains synchronized with others first, which then drove synchrony in the larger group.
HeartMath Institute is collaborating with scientists and institutions to study the interconnected nature of people as key to healing the separation, which is at the heart of most of humanity’s problems. The potential of this interconnectivity research is to motivate millions of people to take more responsibility for their mental and emotional energies and understand the importance of heart-connected communication. Then, getting along with each other won’t be just an altruistic notion. It will be an intelligent, practical, common sense way of life.
It starts with each of us realizing that heart connection matters in day-to-day life. Here are a few heart connection tips that we can practice, which will also help release some of the stress we energetically accumulate from our own, others, and the world’s challenges.
Realize that as more of us increase our intentional care and compassion in interactions, it raises the vibration of the energetic environment, making it easier for more people to open their hearts to each other. This will facilitate the global heart awakening.
(Originally published in GCI August 1, 2023 – Full Moon Synchronized Care Focus)
Join us in a Global Heart Session for radiating care and compassion to the Israel-Hamas conflict anytime you choose, or during synchronized times from today through Friday, October 20 at 4 a.m., noon, and 8 p.m. PT (minus 8 hours GMT/UTC). Allow 10 to 15 minutes or whatever is convenient.
You can use the simple Compassion Care Focus below, or any method that is comfortable for your heart.
Compassion Care Focus for the Israel-Hamas Conflict:
1. Focus on your heart and breathe in the intentional feeling of love and compassion.
2. Now create a genuine heart connection with people across the globe who are sending love and compassion to the situation in Israel and Gaza.
3. Imagine leaders around the world cooperating effectively to help end this war and suffering.
4. Now radiate deep care and compassion to all people enduring the unimaginable consequences of this conflict, or any aspect that’s heavy in your heart.
Note: Try to manage your personal emotions through these times the best you can. Managing emotions is not about cutting off our feelings. It’s about not letting anger, fear, and worry override the effectiveness of the care we’re putting out, even though it’s understandably hard at times. Don’t worry about getting it just right. All genuine heart counts.
Thank you for your care,
HeartMath
In a recent report by the Alzheimer’s Association, it was revealed that over 6 million people in America are currently living with Alzheimer’s disease (AD). This devastating disease slowly erodes the minds of people we love and care for, but a ray of hope has emerged from a groundbreaking study by researchers at the University of Southern California that suggests heart coherence training may offer help to millions of individuals and potentially reduce the risk of Alzheimer’s disease.
Heart coherence refers to a specific rhythmic pattern of heart rate variability (HRV), which is the variation in the time intervals between heartbeats – the beat-to-beat changes. To achieve heart coherence, individuals are guided to consciously slow their breathing while using heart rhythm biofeedback developed by HeartMath to increase their coherence score. This randomized clinical trial found that daily heart rate variability biofeedback practice sessions reduced amyloid beta plaque in the bloodstream of healthy younger and older adults. The findings were published in both Nature Scientific Reports on March 9, 2023, and in The Journal of the Alzheimer’s Association on June 16, 2023.
Dr. Mara Mather, principal investigator of the study, utilized HeartMath’s emWave® Pro software and sensor to train participants in slow-paced coherence breathing. Participants were divided into two groups: one group practiced slow-paced breathing at the cardiovascular resonant frequency of 0.1 HZ, also known as the coherence frequency, to increase heart rate oscillations. The emWave Pro software and sensor provided real-time HRV biofeedback, enabling participants to optimize their breathing technique. The other group used individualized strategies to reduce heart rate oscillations.
Dr. Mara Mather commented on the study: “Our research indicates that slow-paced breathing exercises combined with HRV biofeedback training decreases plasma levels of Aβ (Amyloid Beta). In healthy adults, higher plasma Aβ levels are associated with higher risk of AD (Alzheimer’s Disease) as well as cardiovascular death.”
Rollin McCraty, Ph.D., director of research at the HeartMath Institute, expressed his excitement about the study’s findings, stating that they were remarkable and encouraging. He commended Dr. Mara Mather for conducting the research and expressed the institute’s desire to see further work in this area. McCraty stated: “The study demonstrated a significant link between increased heart coherence and reduced biomarkers associated with Alzheimer’s Disease, opening up avenues for further investigation. The precedent set by this initial research confirmed and validated the efficacy of HRV coherence training in helping prevent or lessen the effects of this debilitating condition.”
Multiple research studies point to chronic stress as a significant contributor to cognitive decline, including Alzheimer’s disease. As such, interventions focused on mitigating stress and enhancing emotional and mental well-being may help to preserve our cognitive faculties as we age. While breakthroughs in treating neurodegenerative diseases such as Alzheimer’s remain somewhat elusive, an earlier study titled “Precision Medicine Approach to Alzheimer’s Disease: Successful Pilot Project” also utilized HeartMath HRV coherence biofeedback (Inner Balance™ Trainer portable technology) for participants to manage stress as part of their intervention. This study, published in the Journal of Alzheimer’s Disease in 2022, also reported promising results, including a reduction of Alzheimer’s disease symptoms.
HeartMath Institute has had an ongoing focus on optimal functioning research since its founding more than three decades ago. In the 1990s, HeartMath researchers made an important discovery: Intentionally invoking positive emotions is one of the fastest and most effective ways to reduce unhealthy stress. Emotions such as appreciation, care, compassion, and love have been shown to increase heart coherence, lower stress, and enhance cognitive functions, including memory and focus. HeartMath’s tools to increase heart coherence have also been found to help improve memory.
“Research has shown that sustained positive emotions lead to a highly efficient and regenerative functional mode associated with increased coherence in heart-rhythm patterns and greater synchronization between and harmony heart and brain and among physiological systems,” McCraty wrote. For more understanding, see Heart Rhythm Coherence – An Emerging Area of Biofeedback.
As we face an anticipated surge in the prevalence of Alzheimer’s disease, interventions which aim to reduce stress by enhancing heart coherence and invoking positive emotions will become all the more crucial. While coherence won’t cure Alzheimer’s, it can significantly contribute to reducing one of its major risk factors – chronic stress – thus offering an empowering way to help people preserve their cognitive health and reduce key biomarkers associated with Alzheimers disease.
HeartMath Institute President Sara Childre is among the millions of people who have been touched by Alzheimer’s: “My father had Alzheimer’s for eight years. It is a tough disease. He was quite brilliant, had an economics degree, and was a three-star general in the Marines. It was so disheartening to see his cognitive functions just melt away. I do believe all the stressors of wars – WWII, the Korean War, and two tours in Vietnam – added to the severity of the disease.”
HeartMath is providing hope that with further research we can discover more powerful non-drug strategies for managing stress and preserving cognitive health in our aging society. The Institute’s research continues to push the boundaries of science and shed new light on the intricate relationship between our heart, brain, and overall health and wellness.
In today’s world, the prevalence of loneliness is on the rise, giving birth to what Dr. Vivek H. Murthy, the surgeon general of the United States, refers to as an “epidemic of loneliness.” With the detrimental impact this has on our mental and emotional well-being, loneliness has become a pressing public health crisis. This article explores the profound effects of loneliness, the fraying of social connections, and the importance of nurturing human connections.
The Toll on Health and Well-Being
Loneliness takes a toll on both our mental and physical health. The stats are alarming: Studies have shown that more than half of Americans report being lonely (most are young people), and loneliness increases our risk of heart disease by 29 percent, stroke by 32 percent, and the development of dementia by 50 percent in older adults. Surprisingly, loneliness is also associated with a 60 percent increased risk of premature death.
Dr. Murthy just released an urgent advisory in May 2023 stating, “Given these extraordinary costs, rebuilding our social connection must be a top public health priority for our nation…It will require reorienting ourselves, our communities, and our institutions to prioritize human connection and healthy relationships.” Until this happens, the situation can only get worse.
The Loneliness Paradox
Humans are inherently social beings, seeking connection and emotional bonds from an early age. Yet, despite the abundance of digital connections through online meetings, email interactions, social media, etc., more of us feel isolated and disconnected. A 2022 global study highlighted the increasing prevalence of loneliness, exacerbated by the COVID-19 pandemic. However, it is crucial to note that even before the pandemic, the amount of time people engaged in person with friends decreased between 2003 and 2020 by 20 hours per month. The decline was greater for people ages 15 to 24, where the time they spent in person with friends had decreased by nearly 70 percent.
Nurturing Human Connection
Dr. Murthy emphasizes in his advisory the need to prioritize human connection and healthy relationships to combat the loneliness epidemic. Loneliness is not solely determined by the number of people around us; it is the depth and quality of our connections that truly matter. Dr. Murthy suggests that simple acts of kindness, respect, and cultivating healthy social bonds are what’s needed to strengthen our social fabric and positively impact society.
But people need help to practice kindness and care, especially when life is challenging. Often when people get together in social situations, much of what they talk about is negative news, separation, competition, and blaming the government. A lot of times, it’s just mind energy having to vent, but as this amplifies each other’s judgments, separation, and biases, the heart closes off.
HeartMath® has studied the underpinnings of loneliness and how the heart shuts down when we feel separate, lack healthy and meaningful connections, or are unable to release negative experiences, whether on social media or in person. There is a cascade effect from loneliness into health, relationships, and societal consequences.
Addressing Polarization and Extremism
The rise in political polarization and identity-based extremism is a reflection of the heart shutting down and highlights the urgency to foster heart-based connections across ideological differences. It will take leaders and influencers of various political persuasions to play a pivotal role in modeling healthy social connections, promoting dialogue, and reinforcing core heart values of kindness, respect, and sincere listening to one another.
Cultivating a Culture of Heart Connection
HeartMath has researched heart connection for over 30 years and developed tools and practices to help people re-open the door of the heart and connect on a more authentic level.
We can’t just tell each other to get out of the house and have more friends. We need to realize that people are doing the best they can. There are bottom-line practices to connect with the heart that make it easier to draw social situations that are positive and nurturing, where people relate at deeper levels.
The HeartMath research team and other research labs have studied the biological reasons to practice kindness and compassion. The neurochemicals released as we practice these heart qualities are powerful; they influence our feelings, moods, and perceptions. They affect how we respond to stress, relationships, and our decision-making. Heart-based practices can help fill the emptiness from loneliness and build our resilience, so the social rebuffs we all experience at times don’t get personalized as easily. By practicing kindness, compassion, and respect, we reinforce these qualities and inspire others to do the same. Even small acts of heart connection, such as a smile or a brief interaction, can have a profound impact on our sense of connectedness.
The Power of Meaningful Connections
Meaningful relationships with family and close friends are rated in surveys as the most important sources of meaning, purpose, and motivation in our lives. They motivate health-promoting behaviors, enhance self-regulation, and foster a sense of belonging and support.
One of the key tools to nurture meaningful heart connection is to practice compassionate latitude. Doing that, instead of blame and separation, is the real heart care. Compassionate latitude is the consideration that we all fall short at times in our choices, words, or actions, especially when under stress from challenges that others aren’t aware of. It increases patience and encourages a deeper understanding of another’s situation. Practicing compassionate latitude with each other in social situations quickly begins to reduce stress built up from stored judgments and resentments. This is so important for restoring balance and resilience during today’s pressing times of change and unpredictability.
Here’s a simple practice that can help.
Compassionate Latitude
Overcoming Loneliness
In a world increasingly dominated by digital connections and a growing epidemic of loneliness, nurturing meaningful connections has never been more crucial. By recognizing the importance of practicing kindness, respect, and compassionate latitude, we can address the loneliness epidemic and realize that heart-to-heart connection is what’s needed to take us beyond our differences.
Heart-based practices offer a pathway to take control of loneliness. Let us embrace the power of heart connection, both online and in person, and work together to nurture a more compassionate world. As more of us open our hearts, we can learn to get along with each other and establish a new baseline of care in our interactions. We can ask ourselves, “If we don’t do this, is anything really going to get better?” It’s a time for love, care, and compassion to hit the street…running.
Many spiritual cultures agree inner stillness creates an energetic environment for supporting our advancing consciousness that can unleash the transformational power of our love.
That’s why, from the beginning of HeartMath, many of the tools and especially the technology have been designed to monitor and facilitate easier access to stillness and its connection to our natural inner wisdom and guidance. Forget the philosophical reference for awhile and think of inner stillness as something simple, practical and street-worthy. How many times have we told friends or children to get still inside and listen-up because we have something important to tell them?
This reveals our innate respect for the value of stillness, so why not use it the way it can count the most, to quiet our mental and emotional static so we can hear the counsel from our heart’s intuitive suggestions for better choices and outcomes.
When our mind finally lets go, inner stillness is where we land. From there we can reset and upgrade the experience of our life. The earlier we learn the value of inner stillness, the less we need to experience the more stressful ways life often nudges us into considering higher choices for personal peace and happiness. We often hear ourselves and others say, “If I had more foresight, I would have handled that situation differently.” Stillness is a primary source for increasing our foresight and creative solutions. Inner stillness is a place that our heart can speak to us without our mind running it off the road. In order to “be still, and know” we first have to be still enough to listen.
It’s a forward-moving choice to schedule times for inner stillness and allow our mind and emotions to experience a time-out from worry, anxiety and processing. Stillness requires a little practice because our mind will try to occupy that space (or any space if the door is left cracked). Know that you don’t have to be still as a rock to recharge your resilience and lift your perception.
If inner stillness didn’t produce high-value results, think of all the centuries of time that meditators and spiritually conscious people would have wasted throughout history. With refinement, inner stillness becomes like a personal elevator to our highest view and eliminates the weariness from climbing endless stairs. Practicing stillness helps us to connect with our heart’s intelligent guidance and make decisions we can feel good about. It’s an effective practical step for creating a less stressful, happier life.
Try this again later if it doesn’t work. Sometimes we give up too quickly, especially on the things that would benefit us the most.
Many people report that the inner stillness practice helps them most by releasing pent up energy from worry or frustration, as well as anxiety from hard to make decisions. We would love to hear about your experiences with practicing inner stillness. Your shared comments and insights are not only appreciated but they can also help to inspire others.
Mental health has recently become a much more prominent and openly discussed topic, which is a positive development. More people are acknowledging the importance of discussing and taking care of our mental well-being. There is also a growing compassion for those suffering from mental health conditions.
Traditionally, when people refer to mental health, they tend to focus on the brain. However, we now know that the heart plays a key role in our emotional and mental health. The term “mental health” includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. All of these areas affect how we think, feel, and act and help determine how well we’re able to handle stressful challenges and events, make decisions, and maintain healthy relationships.
Since the early ‘90s, the HeartMath Institute has been conducting research on the role of the heart, particularly on heart coherence and its potential to improve emotional and mental well-being. HeartMath Institute researchers identified this physiological state called heart coherence, which is a type of coherence that occurs when our body’s systems — our breathing, heart rhythms, brain rhythms, and hormonal response —are in sync with each other.
Learn more about the heart-brain connection.
This groundbreaking finding has helped define the connection between our emotions and the brain, heart, and nervous system, offering an important perspective on our mental and emotional experiences. Today, we’re witnessing a growing interest in this area, with numerous researchers exploring the effects of heart coherence on individuals suffering from mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, PTSD, ADHD, and many other areas, as evidenced by the thousands of published research studies available on Google Scholar. This recognition of heart coherence is a hopeful development in the world of mental health and emotional self-regulation.
When we’re in a state of coherence, the heart, brain, and nervous system work together in harmony — people feel calmer, balanced, more focused, and think more clearly. As many research studies have shown, when we gain more skill in intentionally generating a state of heart coherence, our ability to self-regulate our mental and emotional states is greatly enhanced. Learn more about heart coherence.
One straightforward method for improving heart rhythm coherence is the Quick Coherence® technique, which involves a one-minute exercise that combines heart-focused breathing and emotion shifting. It’s an excellent technique to begin with, and you can enhance your capacity to recover from challenging and stressful circumstances by practicing it a few times a day. Give it a try, and become your own self-scientist, discovering the benefits of this simple yet effective self-regulation technique.
Quick Coherence® Technique
Step 1: Focus your attention on the area of the heart. Imagine your breath is flowing in and out of your heart or chest area, breathing a little slower and deeper than usual. Find an easy rhythm that’s comfortable.
Suggestion: Inhale for five seconds and exhale for five seconds (or whatever rhythm is comfortable). Putting your attention around the heart area helps you center and get coherent.
Step 2: As you continue heart-focused breathing, make a sincere attempt to experience a regenerative feeling, such as appreciation or care for someone or something in your life.
Suggestion: Try to re-experience the feeling you have for someone you love, a pet, a time in nature or a special place, an accomplishment, etc., or focus on a feeling of calm or ease.
The Quick Coherence® technique was developed by and is a registered trademark of HeartMath.
HeartMath® Certified Trainer Patrica Lim Helps Zip Zap Circus School Students in Cape Town, South Africa, Reduce Stress and Improve Energy and Happiness
The HeartMath Institute serves educational, government, first responder, and charitable communities worldwide including, recently, Zip Zap Circus School in Cape Town, South Africa. Zip Zap is a social and professional circus dedicated to fostering a “culture of peaceful co-existence in South Africa, inspired by the late Nelson Mandela,” and its outreach and youth programs are offered free of charge to all participants.
Young adults come to Zip Zap through Zip Zap’s outreach and youth programs, designed to empower young people from all walks of life to pursue their destinies.
The Program and Results
Zip Zap’s chairperson, Victoria Engelhorn, invited HeartMath® Certified Trainer Patricia Lim, psychologist and founder of the Inspira Heart Institute in Brazil, to conduct the training in partnership with the HeartMath Institute, who donated Inner Balance™ sensors for all participants enrolled in the program.
The program was delivered to 16 participants over 4 weeks. Patricia delivered 9 hours of training. Learning heart coherence techniques and then viewing their coherence levels via biofeedback and seeing progress over time with these devices increased the value of what they were learning.
After four weeks of training and applying the techniques in their lives, participants saw improvements in their enjoyment of life, resilience, happiness, feeling calm, energy levels, feeling satisfied with work, their daily performance, and satisfaction with personal relationships. They felt less stressed, tired, and fatigued. Their quality of sleep improved by 37%.
At the end of their sessions, each participant created a visioning exercise for their hopes and dreams for 2023 using the HeartMath skill sets, tied their intentions to biodegradable balloons, and let them go on the roof of the Zip Zap facilities as part of their graduation from the course.
The program took place in the Zip Zap facilities in Cape Town, South Africa, from November 10 to December 7, 2022.
Excerpted from Heart Intelligence: Connecting with the Heart’s Intuitive Guidance for Effective Choices and Solutions; Chapter 8 The Difference Between Care and Overcare
By Doc Childre
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Download the Introduction by Doc Childre and Chapter 1 from the new edition of Heart Intelligence: Connecting with the Heart’s Intuitive Guidance for Effective Choices and Solutions.
As we spiritually mature into our higher potentials, increased care comes with it. Caring more is a most valid way for love to be stepped down into practical applications. This would solve and prevent many problems that we unconsciously create and repeat.
For the next few paragraphs, I’ll comment on the difference between care and overcare. Overcare is when our initial feelings of care about something or someone turn into obsessive worry, anxiety, or projecting the worst—this usually escalates into emotional depletion and the obvious stress load that follows. Our care is one of our highest assets, but when our care turns into overcare, it drains our energy and our health bears the consequences. Managing our care nurtures us and others, while overcare hinders our effectiveness with energy-draining mind loops even when our intentions are well-meaning.
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Download the Introduction by Doc Childre and Chapter 1 from the new edition of Heart Intelligence: Connecting with the Heart’s Intuitive Guidance for Effective Choices and Solutions.
We know that numerous caregivers experience a high rate of energetic burnout from not being able to manage the energies of their care. That’s understandable because managing our care has a predictable learning curve and it’s not an easy task for people who care deeply. It’s part of an emotional maturing process in learning the economy of balanced care.
Below are some typical areas where overcare can overwhelm us at times, lowering our vibration while draining our energy:
Many issues on the list are often draining our energy at the same time, reducing our resilience and our capacity to feel good, while compromising our health and vitality. Then we wonder why we don’t feel like our full-blown self. A stealthy ingredient in overcare is its seductive power to justify itself, while leaving us blindsided to its energy-sapping consequences. With practice, we can cue up our intuition to alert us when overcare begins to invade our feelings and perceptions. The practice of identifying and deleting overcare can save a pivotal amount of energy and health risk along the way.
Eliminating overcare does not reduce our care; it strengthens the effectiveness of our care by bringing it into balance and coherent alignment with our heart. Any time our outgoing energy is balanced, we are smarter on our feet. View overcare (unmanaged care) as a thriving emotional virus, hidden by society’s unconscious agreement that overcare is not accountable. With our heart’s intuitive guidance and commitment, we can free ourselves from the seductive stress that overcare and constant worry bring us.
An excessive (obsessive) amount of overcare and emotional turbulence can unconsciously stream from trying to navigate the learning curve of new software, computers, smartphones, or other “must-have” devices. Yes, they are helpful, but that doesn’t expunge the cumulative stress deficits accrued from the anxiety of having to keep up with it all, especially if you don’t have a knack for it. A balancing gesture would be to occasionally do a reality check and ask: Are we consumers of our technology or are we consumed by our technology? Are we the programmers of our gadgets or are we pawns of our gadgets? When addiction creeps in, we become the pawns and the gadgets become our master. Finding balance in all things is a heart-intelligent practice in these accelerated times, especially when technology is fixing to explode into science fiction-type potentials. Have fun but stay in charge, or you become the pawn. There’s no gray, you know.
At first, trying to distinguish the difference between balanced care and overcare can seem complicated. This is because when we are in overcare, we can tend to feel that’s when we are caring the most. Many issues we start to care about morph into worry. Excessive worry is a classic example of when overcare is fooling us into thinking that it’s effective care. In our heart, most of us know that free-to-roam worry eventuates into personal energy deficits and compromises our well-being. (If we truly believed that excessive worry really helped us, we would encourage our friends and children to go find a corner and worry each time life’s challenges come up.)
You may ask how can people not go into worry and anxiety over some things or situations that put others or themselves in harm’s way? There are serious things that happen in life that amp up our concern—but most overcare energy drain is about things and issues that often don’t even matter that much. Yet we’re addicted to the habit or drama of overcare. These are especially the situations where managing our care would be effective. Overcare is a deeply imprinted human tendency that’s handed down through each generation. It’s like a virus that can only be cured through self-adjustment.
Others can’t do it for us. There’s no vaccine; however, we don’t need one, because overcare is nothing that we can’t handle with a little conscious focus along with our heart’s commitment to practice. Observe yourself for a few days and see how often you can catch overcare occupying your mind and feelings regarding yourself, others, or issues. When you find yourself in worry, anxiety, or distress from overcare try the following exercise.
Approach this exercise with ease, not force. With practice, you will become more conscious of when you are overcaring, and often you can just stop it on the spot and bring your energy back to balance. Practice increases the strength for actualizing intentions that otherwise fizzle before they land. Heart energy added to any practice brings fortitude and resilience into our intentions, especially when our commitments start to shrink.
This simple exercise is not just for overcare and worry; it’s helpful for any stressful challenge or situation that calls for clearer discernment without the emotional override. Remember that worry is one of the highest contributors to overcare because it seems so “legal“ and normal. I’ve found that understanding and managing overcare is one of the most forward-moving steps we can take in our personal transformation process.
Excerpted from Heart Intelligence: Connecting with the Heart’s Intuitive Guidance for Effective Choices and Solutions
CHAPTER 9 COMPASSION: THE NEED OF THE TIMES
Written by Doc Childre and read by Deborah Rozman.
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Download the mp3 audio file of Chapter 9 from the new edition of Heart Intelligence: Connecting with the Heart’s Intuitive Guidance for Effective Choices and Solutions. Written by Doc Childre and Read by Deborah Rozman.
Compassion increases in effectiveness as we mature in practicing the core qualities of the heart, such as unconditional love, allowance, acceptance, and an unattached desire for the highest outcome for all concerned. Cultivating these heart qualities strengthens our compassion and frees it to serve the highest best. True compassion benefits the sender and receiver, though we can’t always see the ways it nurtures and heals or makes it easier to adjust to tougher situations we experience.
Often when small kids are distressed, unhappy, or experiencing a tantrum, we instinctively redirect their energy by giving them a toy or loving attention, and almost instantly they can totally change their frequency pitch (vibration) to calmness, joy, elation, or contentment (higher pitch emotions). A primary reason that young children often transform compressive emotions quickly is because in their early years of development they are still connected to the higher frequencies of their natural heart attributes, such as uncomplicated love, transparency, lack of prejudice, and their superpower to release and move on. Their minds are not yet entrained to the countless lower vibration societal mindsets and habits that often overshadow their heart’s higher feelings and choices.
Many of us have felt drained and stressed on occasion from what we thought was giving compassion. This energy drain and depletion can be triggered especially from unbalanced empathetic care. Empathy can produce strong feelings of care but often comes with tentacles that create over-attachment to what we care about.
Download Audiobook Chapter
Download the mp3 audio file of Chapter 9 from the new edition of Heart Intelligence: Connecting with the Heart’s Intuitive Guidance for Effective Choices and Solutions. Written by Doc Childre and Read by Deborah Rozman.
Compassion is one of the highest supportive energies of love. I used to think it was for fixing others. We can support each other with our love and compassion, but people have to do their own fixing from within. I was a dedicated “Mr. Fix-all” until I learned that people have to make their own adjustments or else challenges keep repeating—sometimes in different arrangements, and sometimes in much harder circumstances. Often the problems we rush to fix for others are their growth opportunities for learning to connect more deeply within their own heart and soul for direction and solutions.
Learning to balance our empathetic interactions is a big step towards understanding the tone of true compassion. Compassion is an unconditional love that supports the highest outcome for others without depleting our personal reservoir of energy. Whereas unmanaged empathy, sympathetic attachment, and “tired-care” are the rocks to look behind when we feel drained from extending what we felt was our heart’s compassion. One reason that compassion is misunderstood is that for ages, people have used the term “compassion” as a convenient cover-all word for what is often sympathy, empathy, pity, or excessive worry. More people are being prompted from within to gain a deeper understanding of compassion, since compassion tops the list of what would benefit humanity most in these transitional times. Compassion is a powerful core frequency within our heart, but in most cases it takes practice to feel love and care for people in extreme stress without becoming overly-identified with their challenges (a learning curve for all of us). One expression of true compassion is when we can hold love and light for others in dark moments, without draining our own battery and joining them in the dark.
More about Empathy
Since compassion is so often confused with empathy, I feel it could be helpful to restate a few points that set these two expressions of care apart. As mentioned earlier, sensitivity to other’s pain points often triggers feelings of compassion and empathetic care; however, the effectiveness of our care diminishes rapidly when we over-attach mentally and emotionally to their issues. Empathy can sense the suffering of others yet can be managed to maintain balance and energetic composure within its care.
News stories, children’s challenges, other people’s health issues, etc. can elicit our empathetic responses which, without management, can trigger a continuous drain throughout our whole system even if we feel like we are “kind of in charge.” Empathy starts out as an asset, yet it can become a source of misery if we don’t find our balance with it. A reality moment is when we realize (not just intellectually, but really get it) that unmanaged empathy can produce continuous energy deficits that far outweigh the “good” we think we are providing to others. Unnecessary aging comes with this quandary.
The following is a standard outcome that most of us have read about or experienced from unmanaged empathy:
On the edge of burnout, we end up livid with ourselves for sinking too deep into others’ challenges, or the world’s problems, and then we get angry because there’s nobody to blame but ourselves (though we give it a good try). It gets worse as we remember that we learned our lesson the last time this happened—and here we are again. This is often followed by self-judgment and self-reduction until we get too worn down to even do that. Then we stressfully regather ourselves over a period of time and start all over with new self-care commitments, feeling like we’ve really learned our lesson this time….
We can change the ending to these stories of self- generated ambushes by paying more attention to intuitive feelings that signal us when our empathetic care becomes unbalanced from over-attachment and self-depletion. Our heart’s intuitive feelings often provide warnings before self-depletion sets in, but we can often fall short on taking action because we think over-emotional identity to what we care about is justified. At times our mind is good at diverting us from our heart’s wiser suggestions.
Like many others, my heart intuition was blocked by my mind’s misinterpretation of empathy. I thought living on the edge of burnout from serving others was virtuous and noble. I felt it was proof of my self-sacrifice “to share the light and spread the good” like a little knight. (Picture a knight in shining ignorance on a mission to fix everyone, whatever the personal cost—that was me at age twenty five.) Much of that experience was from young-buck ego vanity, mixed with sincere, yet unbalanced empathetic care. I’ve moved on since then after learning the same lesson, repeatedly. But I still closely monitor the difference between empathy and balanced care. It stays high on my personal list of self-care maintenance practices.
Remember, empathy itself is not the source of energy drains; it’s the unintentional mishandling of empathy that drains and taxes our well-being. Our hearts have the capacity to maintain energetic detachment and emotional equability, but this requires a little genuine practice to instate. It’s one of the most valuable gifts we can give ourselves. Balanced empathy can nurture and serve others without serving us up with it. Learning the difference between lower empathetic attachment and balanced care can help dissolve most of the problems around empathy—and help us mature in the understanding of true compassion and its effectiveness. This practice may be helpful in balancing empathy:
Practice watching some recorded movie scenes where the characters are experiencing a medium amount of physical or emotional pain that creates a challenging sympathetic or empathetic feeling in you. As you watch, breathe in a relaxed way and practice detaching yourself from the emotional over-identification.
If you do this enough times you will eventually find a place within yourself where you can regulate your feelings. You will start to realize that you can actually genuinely care about what is going on without it pulling you into it.
The advantage of watching the scenes several times in a row is that it gives you more chances to experiment with finding that inner switch which regulates your emotional output. Practicing with movie scenes gives you a jump start on learning dispassion and intentional composure, which help with learning true compassion. These types of practices are often used by first responders to learn to maintain emotional composure as they respond to car wrecks, catastrophes, and such. This skill can be developed. Know in your heart that maintaining your emotional composure, without suffering with people in distress, doesn’t mean that you care less for them. Your care and compassion are actually more effective.
Compassionate Latitude
Compassionate latitude is a heart quality that realizes most people are doing the best they can based on their stress overload, anxiety, and the strained thinking so many are experiencing these days. Latitude is the consideration and understanding that we all fall short at times in our choices, words, or actions, especially when enduring stress from challenges that others aren’t aware of. Compassionate latitude increases patience and encourages a deeper understanding of another’s situation.
Practicing compassionate latitude with each other quickly begins to reduce and prevent stress build-up from stored anger, judgments, and resentments. This is so important for maintaining balance and resilience during pressing times of change and unpredictability. It’s time to skip the drama, reduce judgments and resentments, and move on. Here’s an exercise that can help.
Compassionate Latitude Exercise
Another helpful exercise is each day find situations where you can replace judgments and reactions with compassionate latitude.
More on Self-Compassion
Self-compassion is an advanced step in anyone’s personal empowerment and self-care practices. At first people tend to respond awkwardly when it’s suggested they feel compassion for themselves—it can seem a little self-serving, out of place, undeserved, unspiritual, etc. These attitudes come from handed-down entrainment from old belief systems that don’t serve us anymore. Self-compassion has been on the back burner too long, and now it’s time to seize the moment and take advantage of its transformational benefits. To have compassion for yourself is not an act of selfishness; it’s an act of intelligence, heart intelligence.
Don’t confuse self-compassion with pity-party-type emotions; it’s a transformative vibration from our heart that nurtures us with nonjudgmental acceptance and a deeper understanding of our self. Practicing this form of self-care is especially helpful when transitioning through situations that require time for healing and emotional adjustment. If we have physical or emotional challenges, self-compassion intuitively guides and supports us through the best ways to handle our issues or situations. However, self-compassion is not just for challenging times as it could seem. It’s a regenerative energy that serves as a tonic for our cells and our operating system.
Self-compassion is a higher-vibrational frequency sourced from the love and power of our heart and spirit. We obviously think compassion is beneficial or else we wouldn’t automatically gush it out to others, pets, or suffering around the world, etc. Why wouldn’t we do this for ourselves? See self-compassion as a powerful self-maintenance type of care. This process gets easier once you understand it is just another self-care practice, like putting salve on a sore arm. Here’s an exercise you can try:
Self-Compassion Exercise
Self-compassion takes a little practice, but today’s transitional times call for these types of practices because of compassion’s restorative benefits to our mental, emotional, and physical nature.
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Compassion is a most powerful and intelligent frequency within the love spectrum. As we unconditionally express compassion, it intuitively chooses its own way to administer its care based on a sensitive attunement to the higher need of the whole. Pure compassion is not tethered to our agendas; it’s free to weave its magic, sometimes visibly yet often unseen, but never wasted as it nurtures all within its radiance. True compassion supports the highest-best outcome, which is not always what our personality would choose or understand. Unconditional love sets the tone for true compassion. As our human intelligence spirals to the next station of enlightenment,
then collective compassion will become the foundational vibration for amplifying the connection with our soul and source as they stream love and healing through our human experience. Compassion is transformational love and care manifesting in the most ripened state of effectiveness for the whole.
– Doc Childre
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