A softer way to stay steady when life feels overwhelming
By Gabriella Boehmer, HeartMath Director of Media Relations and Digital Strategy
Two Ways to Face a Crisis
There are two very different approaches in times of crisis.
One is the classic: muscle up, push through it, take the bull by the horns (and hope it doesn’t toss you). The other is softer and more balanced, like a horse standing still in a storm—aware, steady, and deeply attuned.
I’ve always admired people who carry themselves with a calm, quiet strength—even in the middle of intense challenges.
The Turning Point
A little over a year ago, I had to step up and manage back-to-back family crises.
In my opinion, these are some of life’s harder chapters: grieving the youngest member of my immediate family while also caring for an aging parent whose needs were increasing fast.
I knew I needed to find a different way to move through all of it—something that wouldn’t drain me mentally and emotionally. Something sustainable.
At First, It Felt Too Gentle
With no shortage of daily stressors, I decided to try a gentler approach—one that still honored what everyone needed, including me.
That’s when I decided to use the Inner Ease™ technique as a daily practice so that I could stay grounded and present.
Honestly, I wasn’t sure at first. I thought, Is this really enough for what I’m dealing with?
This was high-stakes stuff:
- Daily calls to doctors and insurance companies
- Coordinating in-home care and medical equipment
- Being the emotional support for family members
- Making sure my frail parent could visit my dying sibling
And all of it on top of a demanding full-time job.
Something Surprising Started Happening
There were plenty of moments when I felt stretched—like early morning calls from healthcare providers or having to spend my evenings figuring out what insurance might or might not cover (when all I really wanted was a quiet dinner with my husband).
But I noticed something.
I wasn’t emotionally unraveling.
I wasn’t walking around exhausted or overwhelmed.
I felt clear and focused.
I felt calm and centered.
Of course, I felt great sadness with my youngest sibling passing away, and I do feel the weight of concern for my frail and aging parent, but I can say that I’m not completely consumed by it all. There is space inside me where I feel connected with my heart, my care and compassion, and my intuition.
Growth, Not Perfection
What’s been most powerful for me is the change I feel—not just in the heat of a tough moment, but over time.
The more I lean into this practice, the more I notice a shift in myself. I’m growing. I’m learning how to show up with a strength that doesn’t need to push to effectively handle things.
When my thoughts veer toward worries or my emotions start to spike, I pause. I return to Inner Ease. I reconnect with that deeper steadiness—like the horse in the storm, present and aware.
Why I’m Sharing This
These days, I start my mornings with a few minutes in the Inner Ease state. Allowing enough time to settle into a sense of that steadiness, the clear calm before the day rushes in. I revisit it throughout the day—between meetings, emails, caregiving, or when I simply feel myself starting to drift into the old way of handling things. I like the new me that I’m experiencing—it is my incentive to keep it going.
If you’re moving through something big, I want you to know: This practice really can help.
Remember those people I’ve always admired—the ones who are composed through the chaos? I can honestly say that I’m now becoming what I have long admired in others—calm, steady, quiet strength.
Inner Ease brings me back to my heart—and that’s the steadiness I reach for when everything feels messy or uncertain.
If you’re curious about the Inner Ease™ technique and want to try it for yourself, you’ll find it in the HeartMath app.
Just download it from your app store, open the Learning tab, and tap on Guided Techniques to get started.
It’s simple, and honestly, it remains a steady companion for me. I hope it helps you in the moments you need it most.
About
Gabriella Boehmer brings a unique perspective to her role as Director of Media Relations and Digital Strategy at HeartMath, drawing on her early experiences as a Hollywood kid in national TV commercials, modeling, and commercial photography. Part of the core team at the inception of HeartMath, and fascinated by the art of communication, she finds deep inspiration in HeartMath’s mission to help people connect with their authentic selves and foster greater unity in the world—a purpose that truly resonates with her personal values and vision for a more connected humanity. When she’s not crafting stories or strategies, Gabriella enjoys exploring new creative outlets and spending time outdoors, appreciating the beauty of nature.
