Self-sabotage, it sounds dramatic but let’s be honest: it’s pretty common. Most of us at one time or another have engaged in it. We set a goal or intention, we’re clear on what we want and then we sabotage ourselves by allowing doubts, negative thoughts and emotions to have far too much air-time in our head broadcasting insecurities and self-limiting beliefs.
Self-sabotage is generally an unconscious behavior and often driven by our insecurities and fears. It can be a tactic to protect us from being hurt or failing, or to avoid disappointment or feeling out of control.
Yet these undermining habits and self-critical attitudes prevent us from being happy and creating the life we want.
For example, let’s say you’re a habitual worrier. If you think about it, that is like saying, “If I worry about all the things that could go wrong, all of the time, then I won’t be caught off guard if they ever do.” It’s doubtful that this energy-consuming process has ever produced beneficial outcomes for any of us – yet we do it anyway.
Reversing self-sabotaging habits, like worrying or assuming the worst is really worth our care and attention. It promises to free up a lot of personal energy. It just requires a little self-reflection, staying aware of limiting attitudes and inner-conversations…and a little self-patience.
Some common ways we sabotage ourselves:
– Worrying constantly – Assuming we’re powerless – Ignoring personal needs for balance – Being over critical of our self and others – Mentally playing out worst-case scenarios – Having an attitude of being victimized by life – Negatively projecting what people think about us – Comparing and measuring our own success with others – Allowing undermining self-beliefs and attitudes to run on and on
There is so much right with us if we just stop and look at ourselves from a heart-centered belief. For example, we all have an inherent power that should be celebrated and used more often. This power is our heart intelligence, our heart truth – and it can help us reverse exhausting behaviors.
Using our heart intelligence we can compassionately re-tune our awareness towards how we use our personal energy. We can ask our self what thoughts, inner-talk and attitudes could I let go of and which ones help me?
Through heart-focused practices we can pinpoint effective counter responses to tired habits. We can identify new and supportive ways to interrupt the pattern of self-sabotage.
As we build personal coherence we increase our inner balance and alignment between the heart, mind and emotions. When we’re more anchored in our heart-center we‘re less likely to cave in to old insecurities, projected fears, worries, self-judgments and doubts.
Try playing with this simple exercise to reveal attitudes and thoughts you want to change: