Last Updated on Friday, 27 May 2011 08:34 Written by HeartMath Friday, 17 December 2010 09:17

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The Meaning of Our Relationships

Our relationships with family, friends and lovers are among the greatest joys in life. With them we view our lives as more complete, find greater meaning to our existence and some of us write eloquent tracts of poetry and prose in praise of them. Studies show the emotional support we get from friends and loved ones in our relationships has a positive effect on our cardiovascular, hormonal and immune systems, can lower blood pressure and cholesterol, and ultimately help us live longer.

"Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh!" he whispered. "Yes, Piglet?" "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you."

—Winnie-the-Pooh, 1926, A.A. Milne

When we lose or never experience loving and lasting relationships we see our lives as lacking and suffer – more than you may know. Research shows that regardless of age, culture or social status, people who lack close, meaningful relationships have a significantly higher risk of mortality, are more prone to disease and have lower survival rates after heart attacks. The effects on our health can be compared to high blood pressure, smoking, obesity and lack of exercise.
Lack of human companionship, chronic loneliness, social isolation and the sudden loss of a loved one are among the leading causes of premature death in America.
—Dr. James Lynch, Noted Psychologist, Author and Researcher on the Effects of Loneliness

Approximately 84% of Americans suffer emotional chaos, with men and women saying their three greatest sources of emotional chaos are their relationships with significant others, their children and people at the workplace.
—2002 Harris Poll

Glen and Jenny

Glen and Jenny were at the end of their rope, still fighting after seven years of marriage about things they'd disagreed on from the first day. Their marriage was surely on the rocks and though they didn't believe they could save it alone, they wanted to do something. As a last ditch effort, they sought the help of a psychologist, who, instead of relying on traditional intervention methods – having them face and confront each other, etc. – suggested a new approach.
In the first session, Glen and Jenny learned the steps of HeartMath's Freeze-Frame® technique, including disengaging from their thoughts and feelings when they began to argue, shifting focus to their hearts and ultimately sustaining a change in perception and feeling. Within days the fighting began to dissipate and they could speak without arguing, and after a few weeks "they began re-experiencing moments of the love and appreciation they felt when they first were married."

Improving Relationships:

An Institute of HeartMath e-booklet that explores the relationships of our lives, looks at some of the key mistakes we make that cause them to fail and offers proven tools to help them succeed, including the art of leading with the heart – not going head over heels out of pure emotion, but from an intelligent, self-secure place within the heart, where wisdom, intuition and understanding reside and can teach us, beginning with ourselves, to foster deeper, longer-lasting relationships.
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Love and Friendship

That very first moment of recognition, the one when we know that fondness has turned to love, that we've made a genuine friend for life or that we suddenly understand the meaning of "family is forever," is an occasion for celebration, one that can make us laugh or bring us to tears, sustain us through life's trials and, at the end of the day, leave us content in the knowledge that we have a great fortune locked away somewhere deep in our hearts.
Lasting relationships, those honest, open and respectful are something HeartMath calls "authentic communication." In fact, these are all elements of the mortar that holds together the foundations of our loves and friendships.

"Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow."

—Swedish Proverb

Benefits of Strong, Meaningful Relationships

• Less susceptibility to disease, increased survival rate from heart attack
• Longer, healthier life
• Wake up with more positive outlook, hopefulness
• Increased vitality, zest
• Life has greater meaning, purpose, richness
• Feel more connected to people

Tools For Improving Relationships

Researchers and scientists at the Institute of HeartMath have devoted many years to studying the human heart and the results of their work are profound: We now know that within the heart there resides great wisdom, intuition and intelligence. HeartMath has developed simple, straightforward and effective tools and techniques to teach you to harness the heart's capacity to intelligently guide you in overcoming the stresses, disappointments and turmoil that confront us as we go through life.

emWave®: Regular use of this scientifically validated, stress-relief technology has proven to be a vital tool in reducing anxiety, stress, anger, emotional chaos and boosting energy and vitality. The emWave technology is easy to use and noninvasive. It will help you achieve heart coherence – synchronization between the heart and brain – and reach your optimal physical, mental and emotional balance. When your emotions are in balance, you stop the energy drain and start the energy gain. Then, by practicing the easy-to-learn techniques you'll receive with your emWave only minutes a day will help you revitalize and re-energize your mind, body and spirit anytime, anywhere.
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emWave® Desktop: emWave Desktop turns your computer into a self-contained heart-rhythm-coherence monitor and manager. It lets you see how thoughts and emotions affect your heart rhythms – negative ones pulling you down and draining your energy, positive ones lifting you up and allowing your body to perform its normal function of replenishing your energy. Discover how easily you can reduce your stress level and replace those negative emotions with positive ones that, with a little practice, can give you instant energy boosts and gradually help build a more invigorated you. Relying on decades of scientific research, the emWave Desktop, in tandem with key HeartMath techniques that you'll receive and easily learn, will help you increase your energy and start living life more fully.
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Freeze-Frame®: Doc Childre, second edition, 1998. Here is a book by the founder of the Institute of HeartMath that is packed with a wealth of information about using the intelligence of your heart brain in myriad ways to improve your mind, body, emotions and spirit. A special section called Empowering Relationships will teach you how to Freeze-Frame in those arguments where you can't get a word in edgeways; when you overcare in your relationship with a lover, friend or family member has drained you to the point of exhaustion; or when you are going through one of life's great disappointments: a breakup with a lover, loss of a loved one, chronic loneliness.
» Learn More